Learning to understand first is the water for a heated conflict© Kim-EvindaThanks for joining me for Tuesday’s Trench Truth. Recently I was reminded of this very powerful truth: Learning to understand first helps us to be understood. Without divulging who this difficult conversation was with, let me just share that one of the comments made was that I was not a safe place to share their truth. Now, I wish I could say my first response was to rush to agreement and assure them it wouldn’t happen again, but it wasn’t. In my private party logic, I was straining in the restraint to defend myself. It was in that restraint that I was able to prayerfully consider how I could try and understand where they were coming from. I myself have experienced not feeling safe so I was able to empathize with that horrible feeling. I then went on to apologize for whatever it was that I had said or done to give them that feeling of not being safe. Within minutes, and to my surprise, they responded positively.
Instead of trying to be understood by defending myself, I had practiced this principle of understanding first and it worked. Can I encourage you today if you are in the middle of a conflict with someone, sit quiet and ask God to show you where in the conflict can you try to understand. It is then that the bridge to mutual understanding can be built, one step at a time. Truthfully, Kim-Evinda #TuesdaysTruth #TrenchClassesUnited #LearningToUnderstand #HealthyRelationships
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