Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Have you ever been in a discussion that suddenly got heated, but you were white-knuckling through it to keep your cool? How do we throw some water on the heat of the words?
Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United.
So I was in the midst of such a conversation, but before I tell you the ending, let me give you some backdrop so you can understand the context: I had gone to a conference for women and had taken someone very special to me. After a sweet time of worship, the first speaker got up there and began sharing the purpose of the whole conference, to begin a movement wherein we would build others, serve and sow in a time of so much confusion, and she went on to state homosexuality as the biggest part of that confusion. It was like she had an arrow for this group/behavior and she was aiming for a bulls-eye!
Well, this person who was with me is in between that lifestyle, has lived that lifestyle for more than 20 years – as a result of being physically, emotionally and sexually abused. And that’s not to excuse her behavior/choice but to understand it. I dropped the gavel a long time ago on such controversial issues and let God deal with them for He is the only one who knows their heart. It’s not my battle or my call; my only call is to love them.
The words definitely hit her heart and not in a good way, but she exerted some self-control. She said she knew to take what she could from the speaker(s) and to leave the rest on the floor. I breathed a sigh of relief, until on break she brought it up and began to get pretty angry about it. In fact, the more she talked about it, the madder she got!
To make a long story short, on the last day of the conference I posted something positive on Facebook about it, and tagged the speaker who had spoken out so vehemently about this lifestyle. I said nothing about that; I focused on what was good, the things I had taken from the conference.
The next day I was shopping with my BFF and I got a phone call from the one I had taken to the conference. She wanted me to help her understand why I would post “such nice things” about the conference when I didn’t agree with her.
I shared that I didn’t disagree with everything she had said, but if I were ever given a chance to speak into her life about this particular subject and give her thoughts to help her think twice about casting judgment so righteously, would she listen to me if I bashed her on social media?
“Well, that’s true,” she acceded…but not for long. Within minutes she got herself all worked up again – my friend could hear her as we were in line waiting to pay for our stuff – and I literally had to ask her to lower her voice as eyes began turning in my direction.
She said, “But you are guilty by association,” to which I asked her what she meant. “You shouldn’t alienate any group of people from God by being like that. You need to disassociate yourself.”
God intervened in such a powerful way by giving me these words: “We are called to be salt to the world, to be light. Just because I don’t agree with her doesn’t mean I get to disassociate with her.”
“Hey, it’s my turn to pay so I’ll call you back later.”
It felt so good to not only say those words but to live by those words!
I pray they give you something to think about and help you thru your next difficult conversation.