What do you feel when you hear/read the word gossip? Most people when asked that question say they don’t like it; they think it’s wrong. The word gossip is a noun and means: “Idle talk, rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of another.”
Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Monday’s Mantra with Trench Classes United.
Recently I was at a function with people I’ve known for a while, people that I truly care about – I have to be careful here because I don’t want to go down that slippery slope of gossiping! Anyway, one person in particular began the gossip fest with “What do you think of your new church”? The tone was one of sarcasm and I know it’s based on her own experiences with the church and the pastor. As I write this and rewind the evening, I remember I started to go down that slippery slope with her…but stopped her gossip train by sharing with her this truth: “As I’ve said before, I have based my opinions on him, and the church on my own experiences.”
As I went from group to group, there were a couple of people who every time I went around them, they were talking about someone different, and it was like they were pulling from each other what they could to find out what the other thought of the person they were talking about. I sat in silence with another bystander and said absolutely nothing at all. AWKWARD! The truth is oftentimes, people are talking about others because of their own need to fit in, feel as though they belong. It doesn’t make it right but it helps to understand this so as to not participate in it. I’ve been the recipient of the harsh harm that gossip can cause; and though I’m not completely rid of this sneaky, slithering tendency that creeps in at the most unsuspecting times, I’d like to think that He and I have a better grasp on it rather than gossiping grasping me.
As the evening progressed, one of the party of two was sitting next to me and before I knew it, she leaned over and began to whisper about the other’s son and asking if I had seen the post on Facebook having to do with what she was talking about. I let her finish and then I looked her straight in the eyes and just said gently but matter-of-factly: “What if that was his need at the time and he didn’t do it with the intention that you’re implying? What if what you’re thinking isn’t accurate?”
Well that was like a splash of cold water on a cold day!
Why do we feel the need to talk about others? Is it really about the other person, or more about us?
When we gossip about another person, it says more about us than about the one we’re talking about!
Gossip is like alcohol, legal but deadly! It causes so much damage. Father, help us to live by the golden rule: If we don’t have nothing nice to say about another, let us say nothing at all. Set a guard, O Lord, over our mouths. Help us to keep watch over the door of our lips.
Learning and unlearning
Happy Friday! Thank you in advance for taking time and joining me for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.
A few days ago I was talking with a friend; we were having great conversation, and boom! She mentioned something that she had no idea was very sensitive to me about a certain person and what that person had said. Now, I didn’t show my hurt and anger; I hid them from her, afraid to let my tongue unleash everything my heart was bursting to get out.
But when I got home, I vented to my husband and spent time praying over it, but this tiny comment planted a tiny seed of resentment and bitterness within me. It wasn’t until the next morning, which just happened to be Sunday that I realized that this seed of bitterness had taken root and that I was watering it with all my anger and hurt.
God knew my great struggle with this issue, and that I wasn’t releasing it, and He revealed that the next morning in church through the message. Take a look at the verse below…. and see how faithful our God is!
James 5:9 New International Version (NIV) 9Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
This verse smacked me hard right in my heart: Don’t grumble against one another, even if they are wrong in their doing. God is the judge and is standing at the door.
I believed I had every right to hold onto this anger yet God, in His grace, showed me that it would only destroy me and do nothing to the one who caused the hurt. The enemy relentlessly sends his army after us, knowing just what is going to send our vision off of God and onto the issue at hand. He wants to distract us, to keep us trapped in the chaos that can so easily consumes us.
I must endure. I must be patient in times of hurts, anger, and suffering. It may seem like an infinite trail that will never let up, but the verse below tells me that God will count those who endure blessed. That through this trail, if I keep my focus on my Jesus, loving those who seem impossible to love isn’t so impossible after all. It’s not through my love, strength, but through Christ’s love and strength through me. James 5:10-11: 10 Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
Beloveds, are your struggling with bitterness and anger in your heart? Has someone hurt you so much that you can’t comprehend forgiveness for them? Let me encourage you, don’t let the bitterness and anger fester inside of you because it will grow like weeds out of control. It will snuff out every beautiful flower that has taken root and has bloomed in you. Lay it at the Judge’s feet, for He is standing at the door.
Gripped In His Grace,
If relationships were cars, what would we do to tune them up? Join us for a powerful relationship tune-up with the best-selling authors of How We Love, Milan & Kay Yerkovich. Get your tickets today!
Looking forward to sharing these tune-up tools with you
Have you ever had one of those weeks where you felt as though you were juggling so many things that your brain would burst and surely something important would fall through the cracks? And when everything was all said and done, your body collapses but your mind keeps running around like mouse in training for a triathlon?
Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power @ Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes.
You know, there’s nothing like scripture to rein it all in, mind, body and emotions! And yet, scripture needs to be our first go-to daily in order to accomplish any and all things that we do throughout the day, whether you’re a mom of little ones, teenagers, or someone who has the freedom to enjoy volunteer work for a cause or causes, and then of course, if you’re married, maintaining that marriage in a way that we are called to.
The truth is, we can get so busy being busy that we lose focus and when that happens, it’s time for a three-point balance check:
What we are doing reveals who/what we are pursuing!
Seek Him first…and all other things will be will be added. (Matthew 6:33); in other words, you will never be last as long as you put Him first!
Maybe, just maybe, you and your significant other are in a good place right now, or maybe, just maybe, your child or children and you are enjoying a great parent/child relationship. That’s great! Then join us for a great temperature-taking event that will test the temperature of your significant relationships.
Is it lukewarm, cold or sparked by understanding, great communication, and respect?
Looking forward to seeing you
Have you ever experienced a moment where you just knew that God had His angels watching over you?
Thanks for joining us for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Monday’s Mantra with Trench Classes United. Come on in for one of those moments of divine intervention which I pray encourages your soul and helps you know there are angels watching over you, “For it is written: He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you.” (Luke 4:10)
Mondays always seem to be extra busy for some reason, especially now that I’m back to court reporting three to four days a week. Last Monday was no exception; in fact, my to-do list seemed to be put on steroids – meet with assistant, leadership training preparation meeting, our upcoming workshop list of things to do, upcoming class to begin preparing for, raffle gifts to procure, but in the midst of it all I needed and wanted to make time to have a late lunch with my adopted mom who is recovering from pneumonia. This would be our first lunch in weeks. I was determined to have this time with her for a couple reasons: to let her know she’s a priority in my crazy life, and I just needed to be with her. She’s calming for me, understands me like no one else, gently advises and offers her wisdom, and has this ability to bring my world back to a more accurate perception. She was God’s first example of unconditional love in human form!
Anyway, we were inside eating lunch for a good hour and as we made our way out, we were still talking while walking to my car…that is until I looked up. What I saw rendered me speechless! Imagine me, a person of soooo many words, speechless! J I stopped mid-sentence and stood there, holding mom back as I pointed to what I was seeing: my driver’s side car door wide open!
The movie replayed in my head and I realized that after getting out of the car, and not shutting my door, heading for the trunk to get her walker, then over to her to help her up, I just had a brain toot and forgot to close and lock my door! We stood there a couple of seconds; I looked at her, and she looked at the open door and at first this feeling of dreadful fear came over me. I motioned for her to stay right there as I made my way across the lane toward my car. With every step the fear lessened and when I got to the car and peeked in the back seat to confirm that my laptop and newly purchased bags of Bath & Body Works stuff was still there, I gasped…in thanksgiving more than disbelief.
“Nothing’s taken, Mom” I hollered across the lane. I went and got her and both of us were in a sort of dumbfounded quiet, both of us knowing with every cell in our being that God’s angels had to do a bit of overtime when it came to watching over me that day. Angels were flexing over my protection for sure, protecting everything that concerns me. There is no other explanation; no denying He was defying any evil coming my way, protecting me from my mistake, going ahead of me and watching behind me. To say I felt loved and protected is an understatement.
May I challenge you to look for ways that He protects you throughout your day; they may be blatant; they may be subtle but I can say with an experienced certainty, His protection is there! Seek and find…
Happy Friday, Beloved! Come grab a cup of coffee and sit with me, and thank you in advance for taking time and joining me for Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Faith Filled Friday with Trench Classes United.
I am a list-maker, organizer, and like to be in control of what’s happening in my day, every day! I run my own daycare business I have had children come and go, and each time I go through a phase of sadness because I am going to miss the little one and a phase of worry of what child will replace the one leaving. We don’t understand why God moves in our lives the way he does, but as I have been reading Esther, God is opening my eyes. I love how perfect His timing is.
In Esther chapter 3:12-15, Haman had ordered all of the Jews to be annihilated, and it was to take place during the time they celebrate the Passover, which is a time of remembering all that God had brought them through. Imagine with me the children of Israel telling their kids and grandkids the stories of how God had rescued them, and all of a sudden, here comes a letter from the King declaring they would all perish in eleven months! L
I can’t even imagine what they must have gone through, but I know that they received that letter by no accident when they did. All God had done for them was fresh in their minds, to help them mustard up the tiniest bit of hope that God would rescue them…yet again.
Now, I don’t experience a threat of annihilation, but sometimes my finances do and as I go through a decrease in pay, I wonder why and also how we are going to get by. That’s when the enemy spews his awful lies in my ear, and if I’m honest, sometimes I cave in by believing the lies. This only serves to increase my worry and anxiety even more.
Friends, remember, the thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. God’s purpose is to give us a rich and satisfying life. (John 10:10)
Reading about His provision in Esther, I was reminded of all that God had done for us. Before I started my business we were so poor. We had nothing and went day to day, in prayer, for our daily needs, and each day God showed up. We went from nothing to being blessed a hundred fold. It is so good to look back on those days and remember. And when I do, I can’t help but give Him all of the lies, fears, and worries, because God has a perfect plan for good and to prosper us, and bring His glory. He allows these events to take place, so we are reminded to look a back and remember how abundantly He rescued us, and will again.
Beloveds, if your life seems like it has turned for the worse, remember who sits on the throne. Who knows every hair on your head and cares for you more than the sparrow. Matthew 10:31 (NLT)
31 “So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”
You are His beloved and He is yours. Sit at His feet and reminisce all that He has done for you. It can truly be difficult to deafen all the lies, but as you sit and thank Him, one by one the lies will fall at His feet where they belong. I pray this encouraged you as much as it encouraged me.
Milan & Kay Yerkovich, best-selling authors of How We Love are joining us May 12!
Maybe, just maybe, you and your significant other are in a good place right now, or maybe, just maybe, your child or children and you are enjoying a great parent/child relationship. That’s great! Then this relationship temperature-taking test can be deemed just that, a check-in to maintain great communication in all of your important relationships.
With your most important relationship(s) in mind and the last 12 months, answer the following questions:
1.Do you ever find yourself overcommitted, overwhelmed and under-appreciated; in other words, you have a hard time saying no to others?
2.Do you tell “white lies” to avoid conflict and keep the peace in a relationship?
3.Do you experience some form of worry or anxiety when you know someone is mad at you?
4.Are you the peacemaker in your home?
5.Do you feel like your feelings matter?
So how did you do? If you answered yes to the majority of them, perhaps you’re running a little warm. Stay tuned for Take 3 of our relationship temperature series next week…but for the full picture, plan on joining us for our How to Love workshop Saturday, May 12. Get your tickets today!
Looking forward to seeing you
I met one of my BFF’s for lunch the other day. We go way back but sort of got out of consistent contact and that is now starting to change and I’m so grateful because she has such a special place in my heart. After we ordered, she very casually announced that her husband was quitting his job. With my mouth open – quite wide for the first few seconds – I listened as she replayed the plans her and her husband had for their future which sounded pretty financially successful and secure. I was happy for her, truly happy, and yet, there was something else tugging on my emotions. Was it envy? Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United.
It sounded like a great plan; they are on to something and their finances, which we all know trickle down into every other aspect of married life, have been really blessed. I mean, God’s really brought her so far in so many ways. “Do you ever look back and marvel at how far you’ve come, how far He’s brought you?” I asked her.
She didn’t hesitate, “Absolutely!”
We took a quick trip down memory lane and at the end of it, I admitted that I was super happy for her and a bit envious, too, because I really didn’t think I’d be in the financial position I am currently – which isn’t bad, but definitely not where I had wanted to be.
We talked about that for a few minutes and our conversation veered over into priorities and I found myself admitting that though I enjoy court reporting and thankful for the ability to still do it part time, my heart and soul are in the ministry…my heart beats for the church, for people to understand the reality of the necessity of Christ in their lives.
I’ll never, ever forget her profound and matter-of-fact response: “That’s why. Your priorities are different; that’s all.”
In that moment I was reminded of Abba’s words to me years before; I have more of an ERA (eternal retirement account) than an IRA (individual retirement account.)
Oh, to live for my next life and not be so caught up in this life!That’s easier said than done, right? I love this reminder from Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
And truthfully, I wouldn’t change my life…or my calling…even if I could!
Milan & Kay Yerkovich, best-selling authors of How We Love are joining us May 12!
What is the first thing we do when we feel our child or loved one is running a fever? Hopefully we take their temperature to determine if they are or not. But what do we do when our relationships are running a bit cold? Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and Invitation Tuesday with Trench Classes United.
Did you know that many of the ways we use to “connect” with those we love are actually non-relational? The crazy thing about that statement is we can trace the ways we love all the way back to our childhood…and not to stay stuck in the past, or even to blame anyone but looking back not falling back will help us move forward more healthily in all of our relationships.
For now, let’s take this first relationship temperature. Keeping your significant relationship in mind – and that could be a spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, parent, child -- answer these few questions with the last 12 months in mind which reveal a certain style of connecting and managing that relationship:
1. I would describe myself as a self-reliant person – I don’t really need anyone.
2. I would rather do something alone than get into a long conversation with someone
3. My spouse complains that I don’t show enough affection—I just need my space and it’s annoying if someone wants to be with me a lot.
4. Growing up, we each did our own thing
5. I have family members with whom I have little to no contact today
So how did you do? If you answered no to the majority of them, stay tuned for Take 2 of our relationship temperature series…but for the full picture, plan on joining us for our How to Love workshop