Do you control your mind or does it control you?

Mondays Message

I always pray for God to give me the words to speak
My thoughts get jumbled
And my mouth usually fumbles
I say things I don't mean
& end up in a space I do not want to be

But when I pray the words come so naturally
& my mind feels at ease
Like I'm wrapped in a warm blanket of peace

Yet, some days I let my mind take me away
To a place where my words turn into nasty verbs
They scratch and stir the monsters inside me
& once awoken no longer in hiding

Like a child wanting more
They do not cease to implore
Tugging on my brain
Giving thoughts that are utterly insane

& I listen
I try not give in
But they seem to outnumber me
Chopping me up
Piercing right through me

I break down, I give up
I feel as though the battle has been won
Victory is theirs
And I am beat up on the inwards

& I can let this ring true
Or I can pick myself up
& hand God the glue

I cry out for forgiveness
For letting others be a witness
Of how my mindset binges
From one extreme to the next
When all I need is rest

To rest in His word
To feel his presence
Have I not learned my lesson?

Every day is new
Every minute we have is few
So deciding who you are and where you want to be is ultimately up to you
Yes, He has the authority
But we have the door key

It's up to us to ask
It's up to us to knock
It's up to us to fights back
When the thoughts become ad hoc
Purposely trying to push us off

Off of our path
And into the dark
& that is when we most need to be a light
Holding a candle to our own fright

Cry out, sure scream
I promise He is listening
We may not feel it in the moment
But, darling, you are chosen

This battle is yours
What are you waiting for?