When Faith Meets Suffering-Part 5
Welcome back to When Faith Meets Suffering with Trench Classes United and Kim-Evinda. While social media is sort of like the “in love” stage of a relationship, the “happier” side of life, for many it’s a sort of pretend world. While we get that trouble and tears don’t make for a lot of likes and hearts, we pray that as she walks through this season transparently, you will be encouraged when you walk through a difficult time of any measure, remembering who walks with you. Let’s get back to the story.
The first night they were gone, she slept peacefully, without panic, a sort of relief bringing her soul some rest. The next night, well, not so much so. It was after 10 and still no good-night call from him and when her phone made a notification noise, she was startled to see it was from her realtor and not him. “Are you still up?” “Yes.” Her phone rang immediately. “We have another offer; it’s not great but”…
She held her breath as he recounted the conversation with the other realtor. “I’ll have him call you; I’m going to let him make the final decision as he’s the one who wants to sell anyway.”
By the time she went to bed, she was so entrenched in her private-party logic that sleep eluded her. If he accepted this offer they’d have to be out in 45 days. She went back and forth between wanting to leave and wanting to stay. Glimpses of his smile, echoes of his laughter followed by the realization of when and why they occurred – which involved her -- chased sleep away. She cried herself to sleep…and it finally came.
After she said good-bye to little B, she said good-bye to him. He still looked shocked she was leaving, and so broken. She didn’t even hug him or kiss him good-bye but her parting words were spoken from her heart: “I’ll be praying you find your way back to us.”
The days that followed were painfully peaceful. What intensified the pain is all the rejection of her past coming up to overwhelm her, so much so that she didn’t know if she would be able to endure it yet again. “I can’t do this again, Lord!”
She soaked herself in His presence thru song and His Word. She begged God for answers, for truth to be revealed, and not just about him but about her as well. It was a minute-by-minute battle, trying to keep her focus off his betrayal and on The One who could turn betrayal into a blessing.
At times she felt like a lost little girl despite being a grown woman, well into her 50s! At other times, she felt peace, knowing she had done the right thing in removing herself from the obvious rejection and work on her own soul care.
She received a lot of encouragement, many scriptures that literally lifted her countenance, as if reaching out and physically lifting her head towards the heavens. God never left her and she was really experiencing that.
One verse within a devotion on marriage convicted her so much that she journaled about it: Eph. 4:29 “Stop all corrupt speaking and start to say edifying things, and things imparting grace.”
She had not had anything nice to say about her marriage, about him, and what was crazy was she was more empathetic about her, but still she had not edified her in her speech. “Speak life into your marriage” became a mantra that followed her, one that was like a promise from her Promise Keeper, but certainly not easy to do. She knew she had told too many people in the name of prayer…she was desperate for answers, but God wanted her to be still and learn, to know that He was God and He was/is with her, even in the midst of her pain.
Again, know that though I am writing from my pain, I truly look forward to the day where I will write from the side of victory, for our God never forsakes us! Join me next week for some unexpected twists and turns in this season of suffering.